23 Sep 2015

Grumpies on Board by Carol E Wyer

Grumpies On Board
Genre: humour, non-fiction
Release Date: 21st May 2105
Publisher: Safkhet

A "book it" list like no other, with humorous suggestions for extreme active ageing trips and why grumpies should not go snuffle trunting
Fancy a holiday with a difference? Then pack your bags and get ready for some extreme active ageing. Us 'older' folk are heading away from the traditional hotel holiday and at last, having fun!
This humorous guide, compiled by Mr and Mrs Grumpy, offers alternatives to the usual holiday—from sensible to outrageous—to suit every grumpy guts.
Learn about Arctic boot camps, ayurvedic retreats, drumming holidays, ice blokarting, motoring experiences, skijorking, tubing, Vespa excursions, voodoo trips and discover why Mr Grumpy will never go truffle hunting again.
With over 300 suggestions of how to get the best out of your vacation and live life to the maximum, this book aims to inspire and entertain.
Read it and put some choices on your "book it" list. After all, you only live once!

“An excellently researched insight into the world of the truly grumpy traveller. Youngsters beware..!” Nigel Vardy AKA Mr. Fostbite. Record breaking mountaineer, author and inspirational speaker.

Amazon UK
Amazon US

Guest post
Tell us about the maddest / nuttiest thing you have ever done
I didn’t use to be nutty. I used to be very sensible. I was a teacher, a parent and, believe it or not, well behaved. I’m not sure when I started to become nutty. It might have been around about the time I hit 40 and decided I wanted to try out all sorts of things before it was too late, but one thing is for certain, it’s a lot more fun doing crazy things. The more I write about taking on mad challenges or hobbies, the madder I seem to become. After all, why not have a go at something like ice blokarting if you want to? Does it matter if you’re 60/70 or 90? No! It does not.
I’m still a little cautious about what I do. After all, I don’t want to embarrass my family. (Okay, I admit, it’s a bit late for that). Last year, I had a go at some of the bucket list challenges in my book Three Little Birds so I headed to London to meet up with my publisher and embark on the challenges. We started off by doing a zip wire (I hate heights. Seriously. I hate heights). Kim, my publisher, was there to push me off if I didn’t jump and she seemed to be quite keen to do so. The thought of her pushing me off made me jump. She can be quite scary when she wants to be! That was a hair-raising experience.
The following day, we did a Bush Tucker Trial. We met up with Sheryl Browne and Charlotte Foreman at Archipelago’s restaurant in London and with my moral support in place, I scoffed my way through a meal of kangaroo, crocodile, fried ants and locusts and then finished off with a large pile of caramelised mealworms. I should have guessed by everyone’s expressions of horror as I gleefully popped them into my mouth that they looked awful but thankfully, I had not worn my specs. If I had done, I would not have eaten them. I won’t describe what they looked like. Let’s just say—disgusting. I ploughed on, determined to be “game” and ate every last one of them. I admit. I felt a tad queasy by the end.
Not satisfied with ending the challenges there and then, Kim and I headed straight off to experience zorbing. Zorbing is where you are strapped into a giant inflatable ball at the top of the hill and then pushed down the hill. Zorbs resemble huge transparent balls that hamsters run about in but sitting in them and hurtling down a hill is akin to sitting in your washing machine while it does a spin cycle. For what felt like an hour, we tumbled and bounced and screamed and laughed (to hide our screams) as we skidded, slid and bounced some more towards the bottom of the hill. Top became bottom, bottom became top. My stomach ended up in my mouth. Those wriggling ants, locusts and mealworms wanted to make an escape. For once in my life I was speechless. We exited the zorb on wobbly legs and I clung to a tree trunk for support. It took some time before they responded to my brains’ commands.
“Want to go again?” asked Kim. I declined. I needed all my powers of concentration to prevent mealworms from propelling out of my mouth. It took a full hour for me to feel better. That probably was right up there as one of the most stupid things I have done.
Can I trump it? You bet. Last month, Grumpy and I went to Iceland where we drove an off-road jeep up and over a glacier. It was one of those special jeeps with huge fat tyres. (They look like monster trucks.) When you get to the ice on the glacier you have to let the air out of the tyres for grip so we drove with almost flat tyres. Imagine skidding about like a couple of tearaways over a frozen icy scene with Highway to Hell blasting out of the speakers. Not satisfied with that, we headed to a huge volcano crater afterwards and drove up and down their sheer drop inclines. It was like driving on the moon—pure red everywhere. It was mad alright but it was the first time I’ve seen my Grumpy grin like a naughty schoolboy for many a year. I think I might have to book it again.

Carol E. Wyer was born in Munster, Germany in 1960. She began her working life in Casablanca where she taught English and French in Language Schools and for companies. used to race around the streets on a clapped out VĂ©loSoleX bike, avoiding donkeys. She changed career to become a fitness instructor in her forties and appeared in Zest magazine as a ‘success story’. No longer able to touch her toes with her hands, she has now become a full-time writer. Having written a series of educational yet amusing books for children, she turned her attention to the adult market in 2010 when her son flew from the nest.
Her first two novels Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines and Surfing in Stilettos won several awards for humour and much attention from the media. Since then, she has won the people’s Book Prize Award with Grumpy Old Menopause and has appeared on over fifty BBC radio stations, several international radio stations, Sky News, NBC television and BBC Breakfast television discussing age-related subjects such as ‘Irritable Male Syndrome’ and ‘Grumpy Old Menopause’. Her writing style has been described frequently by the media as 'witty' or 'humorous' and has even been compared to the acerbic wit of Jeremy Clarkson and the humour of Robin Williams.
Carol has written articles for and featured in several national women’s magazines including Take A Break, Choice, Woman’s Weekly and Woman's Own who also wrote about her journey to becoming a best-selling author.
Currently writing a series of novels and articles aimed at the ‘older’ woman and man, Carol is also engaged in writing by-line articles and posts for magazines and websites including Silver Travel Advisor and the Huffington Post.
Carol is also a regular Loud Mouth on BBC Radio Derby.
Last year, she took a crash course in stand-up comedy and is currently doing a comedy tour entitled Smile While You Still have Teeth to sell-out audiences, proving you’re never too old to try a new experience.
Safkhet Publishing
Blogs: Grumpy old menopause
Facing 50 with humour
Member of Romantic Novelists Association


1st Prize – copy of the book (uk winner a signed paperback / non UK an ecopy)
2nd Prize – Grumpy old git / cow travel mug 
a Rafflecopter giveaway


  1. Tons of fun. Wish I could follow in Carol's footsteps and travel to all of these great places. Thrilling to read about and consider the possibilities.

  2. I couldn't agree more, Brenda!!
    Suzy x


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